And the Winner Is....

Not so fast, bucko. We'll get to the winner(s) in a minute. First I have a few things to say. Because, well, I just wouldn't be me if I didn't have a few things to say.

THANKS for your participation in Phase One of the Yo-Dawg-Show-Me-What-You-Got Double Decker Challenge. I think this was a good little exercise in stretching those creative muscles. Thanks to all of you who came out of lurkdom to send your entries. And to those of you who wrote me little notes along with your Opening Lines, again, thanks. I'm not able to respond individually to 115 emails (sorry) but please know I appreciate your playing along.

I wanted to let you know how I judged your entries. As the entries came in, I transferred every single Opening Line out of your emails and into a Word file, so I could look at them all in one document and NOT have any names attached. In announcing the winners I'm actually having to go back and find which entry belonged to which person... in fact, as I write this blog post, I know which lines I've chosen as winners but I STILL don't know who wrote them. Adding the names will be the last thing I do. This has ensured I can judge in an unbiased way.

I kept going through the list, reading them over and making little notations by each one, and I began narrowing down the list little by little. This wasn't easy! I'm NOT comfortable "passing judgment" like this. My job always involves making assessments about good writing and of course, editing people's writing, but it's not usually a competitive situation like this. So it was hard.

Once I had narrowed the list down to my top 20, I had some help from editor friends who gave me their thoughts on each of the Opening Lines. Some of my comments below include the responses of my anonymous friends.

Judging criteria: I chose opening lines that suggested a much bigger story to follow and I particularly like the ones that hint at Big Trouble without being too blatant. I generally preferred simple openers; many of the entries were overwritten and sounded like the author was trying too hard. I like openers that made me smile, but didn't choose the ones that sounded like a one-liner or a little joke unto itself.

Okay, time to get to the nitty gritty. There is only one First Place winner (who will receive the prize) but I'm going to give you my top six favorites. Here they are!

6th Place was from Amy:

When my father finally came back from his quest he was no longer my father.

This is a powerful opener. Many readers expect that word “quest” to indicate the book is fantasy. But to me the word is intriguing, making me immediately wonder, what quest? And how/why had the father changed?

5th Place from an Anonymous contributor:

There are three Kates in this story and only one of us has a happy ending.

I don't know why the idea of "three Kates" intrigues me but it does. I'm immediately drawn to the three stories and I want to know why two of them aren't going to end happily.

4th Place from Christa Allan:

My mother died the day I was born, and my father hasn't forgiven either one of us ever since.

It's a little on the heavy side, but strong, suggesting a complex family drama. Except… “ever since” might be a weak ending. I'd lop it off.

3rd Place from Katy McKenna:

If I've learned anything from waiting for the other shoe to drop, it's that there are way more than two shoes.

The idea is quite good, clever and funny yet hinting at something heavy coming later. The line itself feels not quite done. An edit or two would probably make it better, but nevertheless, I like it.

2nd Place came from Matt Jones:

To my knowledge, there are two kinds of love in this world – well three, really – but at eight years old, I only knew about two of them.

This one is intriguing. It tells me that the protagonist already knew something of love at eight…but I want to know what happened to offer the third option. It might be a wee bit wordy, but nothing that an editorial pen couldn’t fix.

And in 1st Place... my favorite Opening Line is by none other than Richard Mabry...

Things were going along just fine until the miracle fouled up everything.

This has huge potential. It really sets up a conflict that could be both fun and edgy in the context of our little CBA world. With the idea of a "miracle," perhaps it would be even more brilliant for an ABA book.

Congratulations to all the winners and everyone who participated! Richard, let's talk about your prize.

Please note: I will be doing several more posts in which I'll share many more of the contest entries and give my thoughts. So if your entry wasn't in the top six, you may yet appear on the blog.

* Now for Phase Two of the Yo-Dawg Challenge *

You have one week to write a first page, 300 words MAX, starting with ANY OF THE TOP SIX LINES ABOVE. (Yes, this is a change from the original rules.)

Entries are due April 2nd.

Click here for original contest guidelines. Have fun!