And the WINNER is...

Drum roll please.....


Lea Ann McCombs
Here is Lea Ann's winning First Page...

My mother died the day I was born, and my father hasn't forgiven either one of us. My childhood was shadowed by the ghost of a woman whose body may live on, but whose essence evaporated with the emergence of her firstborn child.

"It's a daughter," the nurse announced.

"Take it away," were the first words of my loving mother.

Or so I'm told through whispers and the modestly bowed heads of those who pretend to decry the telling, but who live for the opportunity.

So what is a girl to do with no one to braid her pigtails and show her how to apply lipstick?

"Not so much...That's not your shade...Let me show you how..."

I hope I don't sound bitter. The opposite is true. Bitterness is born from tortured expectations. I never had any to torture.

It was what it was. My father and I. Alone in every sense of the word. Didn't everyone's mother abandon them at birth? Didn't everyone's father mutter to himself in the darkness, drink himself into a stupor, and spend whole evenings painting sordid word pictures of what his daughter must never become?

When my mother's body healed, she packed her bags and left. No explanation that I ever heard. But in the early morning hours, when I found my father on the porch, gazing beyond the rising sun, I knew, even at the age of seven, that she had left an explanation.

At age eight, I decided I didn't care anymore why she left. She was dead to me and that was easier. I told my playmates fantastic stories of her demise which grew all the more fanciful the more I told them.

When my father found out, that was the end of the stories. And the playmates.

It was then I decided to stop living under her tombstone.

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Isn't that awesome? I want to tell you why this one came out as my #1 pick, amongst an obviously strong field of entries (as you could see from the runners-up.) The beauty is in the details. On my very first read, the line that jumped out at me immediately was "But in the early morning hours, when I found my father on the porch, gazing beyond the rising sun, I knew, even at the age of seven, that she had left an explanation." That was a huge oh-my-gosh moment for me. Powerful! This is the line that really sets up the story that's to come, and reveals a pressing "story question" that the reader (and the narrator) wants answered.

"Take it away" was perfect. Those three words said so much more. Also, “…those who pretend to decry the telling, but who live for the opportunity” shows wonderful insight into human nature, eliciting a nod of recognition from me. I liked the nice twist on the mother's "death," too.

I loved the phrase "a woman whose body may live on" in the first paragraph. The word "may" raises a question in my mind. Is the mother alive or dead? And the next phrase, "but whose essence evaporated" paints a nice word picture for me of a woman who somehow lost everything she was through the act of giving birth. This raises SO many more questions.

The best thing about this First Page is that it speaks of so much possibility for a story, and it could go many different ways, so while the reader feels like there's a good story to come, we don't feel like we already know what it is.

From this brief excerpt, I get the feeling I'd like to work with the author because there's a solid foundation of skill—terrific use of just a few words to convey an atmosphere, a style, a group of characters, and even a possible plot to come. There was a high degree of difficulty here, which also attracted me. It's not easy to capture such a complete sense of this girl's life with her father in such a few words, not easy to reveal this keen insight into human nature without sounding ponderous. This could have so easily been over-written. This is a great example of a First Page that makes me want to read more.

So CONGRATULATIONS, Lea Ann, and be sure to email me to talk about your prize.

Lea Ann, Richard, and everyone who appeared as a Finalist in Phase One or Phase Two of the Yo-Dawg-Show-Me-What-You-Got-Double-Decker-CHALLENGE... a friend of mine created these cool little banners that you can post on your blog or website, if you want. You should be able to rip them straight from here and put them wherever you want. If you have techno SKILLS, you might even include a link back to my blog (hint, hint).

Everyone else, thanks for entering and thanks for your terrific work! We'll have another contest in May... better sharpen those pencils.